Why partners become emotionally unavailable to each other?

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By Siddhi Jain
New Delhi, Sep 3 (IANSlife) We’ve all been there, the stage when we are falling in love with a person and everything feels so perfect. An expert says: It’s perfectly normal to go through this process but what happens next? How do we mature from this infatuation into something more stable and sustainable? How do we manage to deal with our partner’s flaws once we get past the butterflies-in-the-stomach stage?

Chandni Tugnait, a psychotherapist, life and business coach, and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, says there are many reasons why people become emotionally unavailable to their partners. Tugnait talks about what one can do about this disconenct:

Getting too caught up in the infatuation phase

Falling head over heels for someone isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some people enter relationships rather slowly, taking time to really get to know the other person and letting themselves fall slowly, whereas others rush into relationships and focus only on the good things. To some extent, all of us have rose-tinted glasses on, when we are infatuated with someone; everything about our new love-interest feels perfect, therefore we conclude that they must be right for us. We might also tend to neglect the issues in the relationship as a whole because we are driven by an intense need for completion that makes it hard for us to see things objectively. For this reason, people can get disappointed in their partners once they come out of this infatuation stage simply because they expect certain things from them that were never established.

No personal boundaries

Setting your own boundaries is something that many of us struggle with, especially in romantic relationships. It can feel scary to put a certain distance between you and your partner and it can be hard to find that right balance between getting too close and being suffocated by the relationship. However, having solid boundaries would allow you to enjoy this relationship while not losing yourself in it.

They have unrealistic expectations

Having realistic expectations about what you are entering into when you start a serious relationship is very important for the success of the relationship. A lot of people tend to set themselves up for failure as they create unrealistic expectations; for example, they might expect their partner to always be available and willing to put their relationship first, leaving other things aside.

Having problems accepting your own flaws

The best way for your partner not to feel overwhelmed by your flaws is simply by first accepting them yourself. There are many people who refuse to take responsibility for some of the things they do wrong in relationships, yet they still get upset when their loved ones point out those flaws which in turn fuels the conflict between them. It is also very important to be empathetic towards your partner and try to understand their point of view so that you can establish a healthy communication.

They stop putting in effort

Putting in some sort of effort is what will keep relationships alive. When people stop trying to make things work it usually means that they have lost interest in the relationship but still want to hold on to it for as long as possible; usually because they are afraid of being alone or lonely.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve better

A lot of us enter new relationships with the idea that we don’t deserve someone better and therefore we end up accepting all sorts of unacceptable behaviour from our partners. We might even be in this situation ourselves! Think about that for a second; when you think that you don’t deserve better, it means that one day you will stop making an effort to find someone who is actually good for you because deep down, the idea that, “they are as good as it gets” still lingers.

They stop seeing their partner’s flaws

A relationship can only work if both people acknowledge each other’s flaws and learn how to deal with them accordingly. For example, if your partner has anger management issues, much care needs to be taken so they don’t lash out at you when they get mad or hold a grudge after they calm down. However, this can only happen if both partners are willing to talk about their flaws and improve the way they act on them.

They don’t express their feelings

Even when it comes to expressing our feelings, some people tend to take things too far by saying everything that pops into their head without thinking or saying nothing and suppressing it all. This usually results in an overload or lack of information, respectively, that makes it hard for anyone to keep up with what’s going on. The worst part is that this never allows your partner to fully understand how you feel so they won’t be able to comfort you and help you through difficult situations. Expressing yourself is very important as you learn about what bothers you and how you can fix it while enabling your partner to understand and comfort you.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve to be happy

Again, this goes back to the point we talked about earlier, when you think that you don’t deserve better and therefore end up accepting all kinds of bad behaviour from your partner. This also leads to a feeling of apathy because no matter what happens, your life will always remain stuck in the same place where it is hard for anything new or exciting to happen. This in turn, makes you feel unhappy.

They try taking control over their relationship

This usually happens when people are afraid of losing their loved ones so they try doing whatever it takes in order to keep them around as long as possible. However, trying to control every aspect of a relationship usually results in a lack of communication, emotionally suffocating the partner, nagging, sulking, and prevents any kind of healthy relationship from emerging.

They isolate themselves

Being emotionally unavailable to the point when you stop having friends can be very dangerous because when there is no one around to support you, it will be harder for your partner to do so as well. This makes the situation even worse because it becomes more and more difficult for anyone to help you break out of that vicious cycle.

They are simply lazy

Some people are unable to complete tasks or maintain good habits once they stop thinking about what would happen if they fail at something. For instance, it’s easy to cancel your plans last minute a couple of times but as those habits stack up over time, your partner will start feeling that their presence does not matter much and this usually leads to an emotionally abusive relationship.

They think the grass is greener on the other side

Some people always want more, no matter what. Often, it results in their relationships deteriorating because they seek for better things outside even if they already have everything in and around them. Over time, you can develop an attitude of constantly wanting something else or expecting too much from your partner as well and this may cause them to feel less loved by you.

They lose themselves along the way

Sometimes, we forget about our feelings or desires because we let ourselves get carried away with day-to-day chores. This usually happens after long-term relationships where partners start feeling like they cannot do anything without having their significant other around all the time to support them and make everything better. In the end, it’s hard to feel like you have your own identity because the other person starts taking too much control over your life.

They get comfortable with the routine

Some people don’t know how to get out of a rut so they do nothing about it and this results in them feeling stuck with their partner on an emotional level as well. This usually happens when one becomes complacent with the current situation and stops caring about improving things between them. If you let these opportunities for change slip away from you, what would remain is simply a relationship that no longer exists or one that doesn’t have value anymore.

They become toxic themselves

Sometimes people just become emotionally unavailable because of their own issues which stem from past experiences or by being exposed to those experiencing them, for too long. If you surround yourself with destructive people, sooner or later you will start developing a lifestyle based on toxicity which would invariably be unfavourable for everybody around you.

Be mindful, take responsibility and nurture the relationship with your partner by being emotionally available to them and allowing the same for yourself too. Reaffirm commitment, surprise your partner and most importantly, be available for them.

(Siddhi Jain can be contacted at siddhi.j@ians.in)

Source: IANS

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7 Reasons Why You Should Purchase Italian Furniture

7 Reasons Why You Should Purchase Italian Furniture

Very often we see people speaking ever so highly of the Italian furniture they own, while we see others gushing over Italian furniture and expressing their deep desire to own at least one such piece of furniture. Italian design and decor are widely hailed across the world for their strong emphasis on quality and simple shapes that combine both tradition and modernity through the finest craftsmanship.

The way a person decorates their home is a reflection of their personal style and identity. Needless to say, tastes and preferences vary wildly, especially when it comes to items of furniture with regard to their size, shape, texture, and color.  However, regardless of the specific kind of design a person likes, Italian furniture is a dominant player in the furniture and home design industry.

For several centuries, Italy has been considered to be a hub for culture, literature, and the arts as well as architecture and design. Italian style interior design has been the preferred choice for an ever-increasing number of people, and this is not just a recent trend. Italy is a country that is synonymous with class, sophistication, and exceptionally high quality, and this shows in the sheer popularity of Italian furniture today. Italian sofa manufacturers take great pride in the quality and design of their sofa sets, and one need not look far to see that even the most discerning customers are duly pleased with Italian furniture.

So what is it that makes Italian furniture so popular? Let’s take a closer look!

Timeless charm and appeal

Italian sofas, chairs, tables, and other pieces of furniture have a charm that is impossible to compete with, leave alone outdo. Not only are Italian furniture pieces renowned across the world for their quality and appeal, but they are also items whose aesthetic value appreciates over time. Italian furniture has an inimitably characteristic beauty and these furniture pieces only tend to look even better as the years’ pass. The fact that only the best quality materials are used for their manufacture is what makes Italian furniture so sought after.

Strong and durable

While many prospective customers will tend to get deterred or even discouraged by the fact that Italian furniture costs a fair amount of money, these furniture pieces are made with the best quality materials and are guaranteed to last for decades if not centuries. That being said, purchasing Italian furniture should be best viewed as an investment and not just an expenditure, as the elegance, durability, and comfort that these furniture pieces will offer you are their own reward.

Unbeatable quality and elegance

Italian artisans and craftsmen are famous across the world for their dedication, patience, and attention to detail. It goes without saying that Italian products, in general, are synonymous with high quality, and one only needs to look at history to see how true this is. Since time immemorial, Italian manufactures have strived for excellence and have always made sure that the products they make are nothing short of the best. Therefore, Italian furniture is a symbol of Italian perfection, sophistication, and class.

Exquisitely comfortable

The very purpose of furniture pieces such as sofas, chairs, and couches is to provide comfort to people. Italian furniture will not just provide unmatched comfort but will also give any person the feeling of being in exquisite and opulent surroundings. There is no doubt that a handcrafted piece of Italian furniture will convey a feeling of elegance and sophistication.

Wide variety of furniture designs

Many people are under the wrong impression that Italian furniture is available only in very specific parts of the world and that they are few in number. The good news is that this is not true. Artyz offers you a wide assortment of Italian furniture, and you are sure to find something that perfectly suits the design and aesthetics of your home. Not only will you be able to choose from sofas, ottomans, tables, beds, tables, and much more, you will also have the choice of selecting from a wide variety of designs. Given the fact that a lot of hard work and craftsmanship goes into making Italian furniture, you can make your living space truly unique by purchasing one or more exquisite furniture pieces.

High caliber craftsmanship

Italy is a world leader in manufacturing for a number of reasons. To begin with, only the highest quality of materials are used, and this, coupled with the unique and unparalleled skill sets that Italian artisans have, you can be assured of nothing less than the best. Italy has long been hailed for its contributions to several fields of the arts, such as painting, sculpture, music as well as design. That being said, painstaking hard work, unbridled dedication, and sharp attention to detail have made Italian craftsmanship an ideal in and of itself.

Novelty and inimitability

Unlike cheaper, mass-produced furniture that is readily available and most often delivered in a cardboard box, Italian furniture pieces are meticulously handcrafted and made with immense dedication and focus on the details. Italian furniture is very eye-catching and will without a doubt convey a sense of luxury and opulence to both residents and guests alike. Such furniture pieces will have a direct effect on the mindset and mood of residents as they will notice how the furniture pieces enhance and enrich the home.

Before you rush off to purchase Italian furniture pieces for your home, do check out Artyz. Artyz is a renowned furniture showroom in Kolkata that offers you a vast range of furniture choices that can suit the requirements of any living space and can accommodate any budget. As a leading furniture showroom, the focus remains entirely on providing top-quality furniture at affordable and reasonable prices. Simply take your pick from the diverse furniture selection and let Artyz handle the rest. By having Italian furniture in your home, you will be able to liven up your living space in unimaginable ways. The sheer elegance of Italian furniture is what creates a statement like no other style.

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Inspiring Journey of Rajasthan’s Deependra Singh Shekhawat From Monthly Salaries to Founder of Fifteen Crore Turnovers Company

Inspiring Journey of Rajasthan’s Deependra Singh Shekhawat From Monthly Salaries to Founder of Fifteen Crore Turnovers Company

Guy Kawasaki has rightly said that pursuing your passions makes you more interesting, and interesting people are enchanting. Passion is an underrated term as people believe more in hard work and dedication. We often forget that passion is what guides us to success. Deependra Singh Shekhawat is one of the few who proved that hurdles are hidden opportunities, and when utilized appropriately, they will lead you to victory.

Deependra Singh Shekhawat, being the son of a farmer, has the background of a middle-class family. He belongs to a small village of Udaipurwati, district Jhunjhunu of Rajasthan. However, his status never deterred him from dreaming. Dreams full of his passion gave him the strength to fight the battles in his life. After graduation, he initially started from a regular job. However, he was not content with his occupation. He sensed stagnancy in his career. Soon, he started thinking and strategizing about business. This thought process led him to join a renewable energy company, Adani Renewable Energy, to learn about business as the next step in his professional journey. From then on, there was no stopping him; he was on a roll. In 2015, he established Vertex Solution Company and became one of the top vendors of Adani Solar Energy. He went the extra mile by working with India’s well-known renewable energy organizations as Avada Sola, Tata Solar, O2 Power, and many more.

Deependra says that his passion for renewable energy spawns from the fact that renewable energy is one of the significant contributors to boosting the country’s economy and generating jobs. He further adds that adopting renewable sources of energy is a healthier option. He claims it is high time we start living peacefully with nature for the sanity of itself and humankind. Additionally, he has provided with job opportunities for the youth of his village Sarai and has become the Youth icon of Rajasthan. Despite belonging to a middle-class family, he left no stones unturned to achieve success and rose from the bottom of the pit to flying like an eagle. From having big dreams to making others’ dreams come true, he has come a long way.

His journey is inspiring hundreds and thousands of youngsters of middle-class families throughout the country. People are burning with passion after witnessing the change in his life. His life journey is constantly changing the lives of many for the best. He is igniting the fire of eagerness for victory in them.

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