Mistakes commonly made by step parents


By Asha Vaghasia
New Delhi, Sep 28 (IANSlife) Forming a new family as a father or a mother can be both rewarding and a challenging experience. Step-parenting often varies according to the situation of the parent. The challenges and supportive factors depend upon the context – whether it is a divorce or the death of the other spouse. It even differs according to the age and gender of the child. While you, as parents, are likely to approach remarriage and a new family with great joy and expectation, your kids may not be nearly as excited about having a new parent.

They’ll likely feel uncertain about the upcoming changes, and how that will affect their relationship with you. Your children will also be worried about living with their new step-parent whom they might not know well.

As a parent, we are always excited to give our love and care to a child, but the child might not reciprocate the same feelings. Here are some common mistakes you can make as a stepparent:

Trying to get involved and becoming too comfortable with the child very early.

Trying to please the child by making them experience things that are not related to your everyday life. E.g. Taking them for a picnic or a movie or just trying to please them.

Expecting you and your new partner to have a similar parenting style without communicating first; not communicating with your new partner about each other’s parenting styles.

Over expectation from a child when it comes to respecting and accepting you.

Sometimes the biological parent might push the child too much to form a relationship with the new parent.

Transitions are hard and can be too much to process for a child, especially when it comes to their families. The above-stated mistakes can impact your child in these ways:

They might feel uncomfortable, get annoyed and develop resentful feelings towards the new parent.

The child’s expectation increases and they feel disappointed, eventually. It can become difficult for them to adjust to your daily life.

The child might feel confused regarding the rules and regulations of the family and might not feel safe and secure.

The child might feel burdened, and it decreases the chances of getting closer to the parent.

The child might not feel heard, valued, loved, and emotionally connected.

The important question then is – What can step-parents do to create a loving and fulfilling bond with the child?

Acceptance as a stepfather or mother.

Your understanding and acceptance of the transition of becoming a stepparent is the foundation for the wellbeing of your family.

Understand the developmental age of your child.

Kids of different ages and genders adjust differently. You will need to adjust your approach with different age groups and gender, but your goal of establishing a trusting relationship stays the same.

Understanding the roles and responsibilities: As a new stepparent, you shouldn’t step in as the enforcer at first, but work with your spouse to understand the roles and responsibilities and work as a team with the child.

Create a space in your stepchild’s life, slowly and gradually: Given enough time, patience and interest, most children will eventually give you a chance. Focus on creating an honest and open environment by being there with them emotionally and physically.

Spend quality time with your child: Try to spend quality time with your child daily, which would make them get used to your presence.

Communicate often and openly and listen respectfully: Establish an open and non-judgemental atmosphere.

Learn about positive parenting techniques: Be aware and educate yourself about the parenting tools and techniques. Read, ask, or get help from parenting professionals.

Outcome: You will increase your chances of bettering your relationship with your stepchild and your child will feel loved, valued, safe and secure, appreciated and encouraged, heard and emotionally connected. This would make the process of accepting you in their lives relatively easier.

(Asha Vaghasia, Founder and Parenting coach at We Positive Parenting Ahmedabad.)

Source: IANS

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Weekly Technical Share Market Outlook

Weekly Technical Share Market Outlook

The Indian market recovered sharply on the last trading day amid the weekend after a continuous fall. Market has managed to halt above 16000 Nifty levels after continuous losing streak. Index reacted violently, grasping Indian as well as global factors throughout the week. Simultaneously, Inflation is catching up and profit margins are taking a hit.


Sensex advanced 1532 points or 2.90 percent while Nifty gained 484 points or 3.07 percent in a week. Simultaneously, Bank nifty has overcome bear’s dominance ending the session with 3.49 percent gain. Sectorally,Nifty Metal saw the highest gains of 7.40 percent followed by the Realty and Auto added over 4% gain. On the flip side Nifty IT tumbled 2.82 percent on weekly basis. Midcap and Small Cap measures rising nearly 2 percent as well.

In Nifty stock, EICHERMOT gained 11.31% while TECHM lost 5.98% on a weekly basis. INDIA VIX closes at 23.10 suggests volatility driven market is going to remain intact. Coming to the OI Data, on the call side highest OI witnessed at 17000 Nifty followed by 16800 Nifty strike price while on the put side, the highest OI was at 16000 Nifty followed by 15800 Nifty strike price. Technically, Nifty has formed a Tweezer Bottom type pattern in the weekly chart suggesting a short term buying rally may drive the market until monthly expiry. On the daily chart, price has rebounded from the lower Bollinger band as well.

Momentum indicators MACD & Stochastic were trading with a positive crossover & reversed from oversold zone. However, Index is still struggling to get the support of 50 Simple Moving Average in daily chart. Short term investors and traders are advised to work with option strategies to neutralize the volatility. Overall, Nifty is having support at 15700 mark while on the upside 16700 followed by 16500 may act as an immediate resistance. While Bank nifty has support around 32500 while resistance is placed at 36000 on weekly chart.

Sumeet Bagadia
Executive Director
Choice Broking

Source: Choice India


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